There are times when I prefer to be alone or rather I'm not talking to anyone. It's not as if I'm in a bad mood or something, but it's a little something close to that. When I talk to someone whenever I feel this way, chances are I'm going to get pissed and be this neurotic bitch you never saw in me. Sometimes I do feel like I'm suffering in a mental illness. I get frustrated over little things or would create my own drama out of what's happening around me.
My cousin told me that I criticize things too much or give comments too much. Well, yeah maybe I do talk a lot and when you talk a lot, you always have something good/bad to say. I would say I'm just giving out a lot of constructive criticism. :D
Going back to my being bipolar, I would compare myself to a balloon. I'm like a balloon cause energy fills me in like air and I would get energetic and so vibrant. The next thing you know I would burst and would lose it all.
In a moment I am very emotional and would do everything to express my feelings. And then the next thing you know, I'm this sadistic, mean, cold hearted bitch who doesn't give a damn about the world. This. Don't talk to me when I'm like this. You should keep your distance and let me be, for some quite time. This could last for days and even a week. This would always happen whenever I do not want to be disturb. It's whether I'm reflecting on a lot of things or I really don't want to talk.
Sometimes, you are going to ask what the hell is my problem? Well, to tell you the truth, I don't have any problem. I don't want to talk and I prefer to be left alone. This may sound very selfish but it's my own way not to say something stupid out of frustration and anger.
I hate being moody all the time. It's very selfish and it ruins the day.
It's not that I'm mad. I just want a few minutes of silence.
It's just a matter of timing.
If you find me in a foul mood, please understand that it's not that I have problem with you it's just that I would rather remain silent than to talk my heart out. Because somethings are better left alone. You don't want to hear all my rantings because it would take more than a day for me to give a blow-by-blow description on how I feel.
So please be considerate and ignore my moodiness.
But at the end of the day, I appreciate those people of tolerated this kind of attitude specially my parents who knew nothing about their daughter being 'sabaw' & bipolar (hahaha). My awesome friends who are almost in the same state as I am. I'm really glad they don't get tired to put with my attitude. I apologize if I hurt and offended you in many ways and I will try my hardest to be more sensitive to the feelings of others and be more appreciative of the good people around me. (I'm so dramatic. see what I mean?)
WARNING: mood will automatically change in 5 minutes. Keep your distance.
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