a one crazy B

While walking home after my afternoon shift in RMC, alone, because of these mood swings I was getting, I suddenly missed being in a Co-ed school.

You see, I'm in an all girls school right now and its effin hard to find yourself surrounded by girls most of the time. Back in high school and elementary, I was always surrounded by boys. Not that im a lesbian or something. Its that some of my good friends are boys and I kinda miss them right now.

Boys, well, you cant call them a backstabbing bitch because I believe that's just for girls who well, you know, backstab. Its really hard and confusing because girls, they could face you, talk to you as if there's nothing wrong. But when you turn your back, they would say some nasty things about you. If you're mad at me or pissed off, just say it. Don't blab about it or say it to someone else. It'll just grow big and eat you out. Specially if that someone is a good friend of yours. Boys, they'll just remain silent until you two talk it out.

Yeah . . . I do miss my boy pals. They make you feel secure and I feel perfectly comfortable with them. Its really hard to make yourself used to this kind of environment right now. Its a jungle out there. You really have to be tough and choose your friends really well.

Back when i was in High school, i was always bitching out people who was also bitching me around. As i have said, its a jungle out there. You have to survive and be strong or else you'll die, or lose.

I wont be called a loser for that matter because definitely, IM NOT.

One thing i also miss with boys is that, you can really talk to them. They listen. Its hard to tell your anguish nowadays to a girl. She might end up saying it to someone else. But my guy pals know how to keep their mouth shut. Well, some of them. :D

In college, its really hard to find your crowd. You do not want to belong in a group of smokers or drug users. Or even those who party hard and drink a lot too. You really have to choose your friends and know them well.

This jungle consists of different wild female animals. Some are tamed, some are not. Some are reptiles, some are amphibians. Some eat meat, some eat grass. :p

But in short period of time, you can really tell who they are and what  categories they are in.

Being in an all girls school have its ups and downs.



You dont have to worry on how to act around boys like you were in high school. It also helps you focus more on your studies.

In an all girls school, having a girl to girl relationship is not easily avoided. The school does not prohibit it but they dont recommend it.

More backstabbing bitches out there.

The competition is tighter.

Survival of the females :))

That is why I miss the co-ed school. Having boys around you is essential and helps you grow and get to know more about yourself.

a post that is not for me :|

its not for me I guess. Just maybe someone new. I couldn't help my self but wonder who or what the hell is in the mind of that... of that... :

CURIOUSITY KILLED THE CAT

some things are better left unknown and unsaid :

i feel so bummed right now.

I have to admit it hurts. All the pain that I kept long inside, it will now burst out. Sooner or later. I want to prevent it from exposing me but Im afraid of all the possibilities. Im not much of a risk-taking person. I like taking risks but not on the emotional perspective of life. I feel so much strong when I build up that wall. I want to make sure that no one could ever break that wall.

no one will ever will.

*interuption> message from facebook

(its Anna inviting me this Ateneo Party in Decagon Silver City - i dont know where that is but im pretty sure its something big because its a fashion event thing. Oh well)

Im confused. i should not be thinking about these things right now! I am a busy person and i have no time for these dilemmas.

Im just making things harder for me when acutally i can do it the simple way way and not the hard way. Who am I kidding? Its like digging the history of ancient rome or egypt .

~G

november is misery :|

I am sick and coughing myself to death, making it hard to breathe.

what is wrong with me?

:

i feel so weak, and the second semester is barely starting!

im still drained as ever. :

gosh. I hope i can cope up with everything because im not feeling any better. :

second semester blues :|

I dont know how or why, but I feel so bummed...

its the start of the second semester and im not really feeling it.

bummer.

maybe its because of the

weather?

classmates?

professors?

I dont know. It sucks though.



My schedule was pretty much the same I had during the first semester. During tuesdays and thursdays I go to school at 7:30 in the morning and home at 3:00 in the afternoon. I also welcomed new subjects and new professors too.

I may not like it but, what the heck? I cant do anything about it.

oh well,

I guess, I'll just to live with it.

:

left out :|

I was on chat with Anne when i mentioned about our enrolment for the second semester. She said its on the 28th and i said its on 26th. We were debating on this and even asked our other blockmates. I couldnt call our school because its a sunday and there's no one in the office at that time. So, I decided to check the website of our school and it flashed right in front of me "Enrolment schedule: October 28"

I dont believe it. They moved the date for the enrolment and what's worse is that its the same day as ate paw's debut which I already prepared for. Damn it.

Yes, i could enroll online but i wont take the risk if something goes wrong. But then again, I want to be there on paw's special day.

I was scheduled on the 28th, afternoon, surnames starting L-Z. damn it.

I started planning impossible things. You see, the venue for the Paw's debut is at my hometown in Marinduque. The venue is quite nice. Its a hotel/resort by the beach which means double the fun. My high school classmates are going to be there, that's for sure. My superfriends and others. The boys are already practicing their performance for the event. ICARUS - our class' band would be performing live for the party.

*sigh. Im really sulking to the fact that I wont be joining them. I prayed that our school would allow me to enroll earlier than 28. So, this morning I called them and they said that its impossible. I nearly choked out the words 'but I need to be somewhere on the 28th" and they said "couldn't you just enroll online?" and then that's when I gave up.

If have a jet plane then yeah, its possible to attend Paw's debut. But since I don't, well, I guess I'll be spending the 28th of october in sulk.

Of all the dates in october, why does it have to be on the 28th? *sigh. I want to cry out of desperation right now. I looked so pathetic right now and I cried myself to sleep a while ago. Yeah, I know. I sound so selfish, but I can't help it. When your friends are all having fun and you are left out, you just cant help but cry.

I wish my mom would say "Go back here in Marinduque and just enroll online" but she said the exact opposite of that. I want to cry so hard that the Admin. Office would took pity on me and just let me enroll.

:

FML.

the crazy things I do when I bored.

Well, its our sembreak. Yay me! :D

what's bad? Im bored...

oh well. just check me out on facebook because im too bored to write something here. maybe ill come back a little later..
right now... i am really really bored

I hope 'Pepeng' (international name Parma) wont intensify :(

I hope the typhoon wont intensify, but as much as I could hope, it already did. As i watched the news a while ago that Pepeng would be the same as 'Reming' (International name Durian), my memories of Typhoon Reming last 2006 came running through my mind again.

I remember hugging my papa so tight because I can hear the wind whistling outside and the rain smashing hard on our roof, walls and windows. I was only second year high school that time and that was my first time to experience a super typhoon. I was so scared that I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I wouldn't want to add my parents' worries just because I'm crying. I could see it my mom's face that she too was scared. I tried to sleep it but I could ignore the strong wind blowing. It was really a SUPER typhoon. I was thinking, what if we didn't live through this storm? Or, what would happen if our roof would suddenly give up and the storm would eat us. I can't help but panic everytime I would hear debris smashing on streets and the howl of the wind would get stronger. I managed to sleep for a couple of minutes but then I could feel my knees shaking and my heart beating wildly. I would tremble so hard even in my sleep that my mom would end waking me up. I couldn't help it. I was so scared. I couldn't even sleep. I hope that the storm would miraculously vanish. And it did. For an hour.

I was stunned that everything became quiet all of a sudden and got glad that the storm was over. But after an hour, there it is again. Blowing harder than before. It's as if someone had pressed the 'pause' button and then after an hour pressed 'play' again. That's when i realized that an hour ago, our place was at the "Eye of the storm". Again, I started trembling. All I could was hope and pray. Yes, that was it. I was praying the whole time i was trembling. Praying helps me to keep calm and somehow gather strength to made it through the night. Praying really helps. At times like this, it's when we start to realized the value of life. I was so happy that I made it through that night but when i came out of our house, it was devastating. Many people was left homeless and many people died. The death toll increased as each day pass as people started to recover from the great loss.

I was really traumatized on what happened that year. I'm glad God spared my family.

I couldn't thank God enough for saving my life last year. A typhoon again hit our place with a wind almost the same as Reming. Again, our place was also a direct hit from the typhoon. This time named Frank. I thought I was going to lose everything back then.

Our place was raised in Signal #3 that night. I was lying on my parents' bed with my Papa that night. My mom, praying at the altar just outside their room. I was lying calmly when I heard a loud twisting sound. It's as if my body automatically jerked me out of the bed and ran quickly outside the room. That was when i realized that something crashed in our roof. At that moment, i though our house was collapsing. When i looked back, a tree crashed in my parents room. I was crying and shouting at the same time because my father was left in the room. I was hugging my mom and shouting for my Papa as debris keep on falling. I was relieved to hear my Papa's voice saying he was Ok. It was a miracle when my papa covered his head and luckily only a piece of plywood fell over hhim and not the coconut tree. I was so thankful to God he didn't get hurt. When I came back to look at the scene, I saw where the coconuts fell and it was on the exact position where i was in my parents' bed. Those coconts could have fallen directly on my head and got me killed. It was a good think I reacted so fast. I was shaking the whole time and can't manage to calm down as I hold on tight to my rosary. Not even my mom could calm me down after what happened. I manage to catch some sleep though. When I woke up the storm was over. As I check out again the damaged room, I saw people cleaning up the area. They were counting the coconuts ang guess what? They collected 21 pieces of coconuts from the room and 5 more in our cieling. A few people tried to remove the coconut tree in the room and I went out and saw more devastating effects of Frank. That is when I saw which coconut tree fell in my parent's room. It was in the vacant lot beside our house more than 35 meters away. The wind twised the tree in half and dropped it in my parent's room. Sure, I managed to calm down, but seeing those coconuts piled up in my parents' room, I could've died. I wouldn't call that one luck. I would say God really did save me from that accident. I wouldn't last any longer back there if I wasn't holding on to my Rosary.

Until now, I still get traumatize in that experience. I feel bad for those people who lost their houses and starting from scratch. I hope God would spare us all in this coming typhoon. Let us pray and keep our faiths high that God won't let Pepeng harm us. Victims from Ondoy's wrath haven't recovered from their great loss.

I know, because I've seen the wrath of these 3 typhoons. From Reming, Frank and to Ondoy. I hope everybody would be safe.

That's all we can do for now, take care of each other and PRAY.

we wont be having our final exams

We wont be having our final exams. Its not because I'm exempted or anything. This is due to Ondoy's wrath and MC decided that to cancel everything for the last week of the semester.

Basically, I'm speechless. They're gonna base our grade in our CA (class average)

I just read the mail from ate andee which she got from MC saying the full details about the exams. Yesterday, i thought that was only rumors, but it turned out to be true.

Here's the email sent to me via yahoo mail. I reposted this in FB so that my fellow Knollers would be informed :D

anyway this is the link : www.facebook.com/home.php#/note.php?note_id=144125814654&ref=nf


so. would this be goog or just bad?? hmmm.

i was stranded in the middle of Storm Odoy's wrath

Sue and I were really planning to go the out last September 26, 2009. So, I went to her place in Antipolo to fix some of our things/projects before we leave, because her dad's gonna give us a ride on our way back here in Quezon City. We're suppose to attend and orchestra/concert at our school that evening, and that day WAS supposed to be jampacked.

Sue lives in Antipolo City which i've never been to before, and it was my first time to go there ...ALONE. It was further announced that there was a storm that day but NCR and metro manila was only raised at signal no. 1. The night before i left, it's starting to rain really hard but stopped when in the morning. As i woke up, the rain started to fall again. I was starting to have doubts wether i should go.

I was still debating with my thoughts and finally, i decided to leave with the heavy rain pouring. I took the cab on the way to the jeepney station in Katipunan and obeyed Sue's instructions on how to get there. I took the jeepney which says 'Antipolo-Cubao via Somulong highway'.

While passing the bridge in Marikina, i saw how the water in Marikina River was starting to rise. I panicked, and thought wether i should get out of the jeepney and take the next jeep going back to cubao. I got the feeling like i forgot something. i examined my things and noticed that my umbrella wasn't there. Oh God, i left it in the taxi. oh, crap.

i have no choice but to continue traveling to antipolo. i remained calm as every road in marikina started submerging in waters. Sue said that usually the treveling time from katipunan to marikina is an hour. But somehow, during that time, it felt longer. I was feeling uneasy the whole time because the rain was getting heavier and the waters were getting deeper. What made it worse is that i don't have an umbrella. Good thing i was wearing my jacket which kept me from getting drenched. I became so nervous when the jeepney driver called one of his fellow drivers and said do not go back anymore because the water was getting deep and he also added that he's going to park his jeep and go home because of the heavy rain.

When I reached Antipolo and i noticed that people are getting out of the jeep so I got out to and ran through the heavy rain. I stopped at the nearest place where there is a roof where i can get a trike and hopefully he know's Sue's house.

A tricycle driver stopped and i asked if he knows Villa Ligaya - Sue's place. He said that some ways through the village are blocked because of the the flood. I pleaded for him to take me to villa ligaya in any way, even if i have to cross that murky brown water. Yuck.

"Kuya, sige na po. Pakihatid naman po ako dun. Di ko po talaga kasi alam yun" I pleaded to the driver

"Eh, titingnan natin kung pwede makadaan dun sa may tulay. Baka kasi maanod tayo. Pag di tayo maka daan, hanapan nalang kita ng ibang madadaana."

"o sige po. Thank you po talaga!"

"Taga san ka ba?"

"Quezon city po."

"Ah. E bakit napadpad ka dito sa antipolo?"

"May kailangan po kasi akong tapusin na project."

"E sino ung pupuntahan mo?"

"Kaklase ko po."


Sue called me from time to time to instruct the trike driver where to pass. At the corner of the street i saw the whole road was cover with water. The driver asked whether the road was passable and waited for a minute and continued after another trike went through. I was holding my breath as the trike made its way to the murky water and made splashes inside and outside the trike. The dirty water splashed right in front of my face. I almost cried and wiped it off and the next thing i knew i was at Sue's front door. My pants were soaking wet as i got out of the trike.

I wanted to cry so much that time. For the efforts i've made and ofcourse about the dirty water that hit my face. I tried to calm myself down as i go through the after shock of what happened to me. The rai got harder and we weren't able go to our destination. I called my mom and tita to inform them that I wouldn't be able to come home because of the floods and landslides along the high way. For everybody's safety, i decided to stay at Sue's for the rest of the weekend.

The storm came unexpectedly. I didn't know that the amount of rainful ondoy brought was that enormous. I was stuck at Antipolo for 2 days and 2 nights.

The aftermath the storm brought was devastating. We were watching the news and I felt bad for complaining about situation when some people's were much much worse. I wanted to cry out of joy because i was safe. I also wanted to cry out grief for those people who were affected by the flood.

I don't know how or why, but i think Im still traumatized in storms. Trust me, I experienced a lot, enough for me to get nervous in pety hard rains. I was worried and tried texting families and friends, asking if they are ok.

Some of my friend's houses where flooded and most of them didn't spare any things. But what important is they are safe and alive.

Its amazing how filipinos unite at a time like this. Its so heartwarming to know that so many donations were given for the victims of typhoon ondoy. I just hope there would be enough for everyone.

The aftermath of the storm was dreadful. On my way home, we saw how much damage the flood brought to the city of Antipolo and Marikina. We saw the MMDA's pink fences thrown flat on the ground. The garbages that people collect, the muddy roads where in you can see the garbages burried deep with in. Different kinds of tow trucks pulling different kinds of cars. Most of the cars on the road were covered with mud and you can see people moving in and out of their houses. They're still cleaning everything.

I am thankful to Sue and her family for making me feel welcomed in Antipolo. Sue gave me a little tour of the place though its raining and her churchmates acknowledge my prescence during their sunday activity. We spent the weekend photoshooting, watching movies and EATING. My first time at Antipolo and its effin stormy!! Despite all these, I enjoyed my stay at Sue's place even if its storming.

Finally, after seeing all these, i hope everybody got the message: Nature has its way of getting revenge.

the girl who bitched me behind my back

from katipunan to vmapa...

i was in SM sta. mesa awhile ago after class with Anna. I have to get Cy's choker from Mark. We waited for him for almost an hour. While waiting, Anna and i decided to buy ice cream. Double dutch for me and Cookies and cream for Anna. We sat patiently outside French Baker while i was bitching out again. I scrutinized everything i saw which brought us to the topic of Harold's index card that I saw with my professor in Mirriam. *laughs. It is pretty obvious that my mouth doesn't have its filter thing installed and i was blabbing away whatever crossed my mind. And then, suddenly, I blurted it out. I was again cursing the girl who made my life now miserable (well, not that miserable) . Funny, I don't even know her, and Im cursing her like crazy a while ago. 'crazy bitch' as i said. I always became furious when remember what she had said to _______ this summer. ACK. The nerve! Heck! Don't even think about saying that it's wrong to judge people! But what the f*! She started it. She judged me, my friends and our lives. I was like 'You don't even know me!, how dare you say all those things about me and my friends!' So tell me, do i have the right to be mad at her!

For starters, i would call her as push-over! A clingly little judgemental, push-over bitch! If it wasn't for her, i wouldn't feel this stupid feeling of regret! Yeah. i admit that our posse have this strange 'web' and i admit that some people are connected within the web. But that's not the reason for her to say those things about me/us. Im actually getting aggreviated right now. And for the one who believed her, yes, i mean you! you are the most stupid person i ever met! you are selfish, arrogant and so full of yourself! hmmm. Wow. Im so cruel. I feel so pathetic wasting my time blogging about this bitch. haha.

well, as what is stated above myl page "*thou shall not kill

haha. If killing was legal... haha. I don't know who I would kill first. Gosh.

"If ever i saw that girl... oh she should prepare! She'd better be prepared! (insert evil laugh)" i said to Anna while she licked her ice cream.

I want to shave her head/hair off. literaly.

Wow. she has the guts to say all those things about me. Such a loser. Are you insecure my dear? Does the fact that I'm prettier than you and he loved me such a big deal to you? Well, you can be my 'BIN'.

He's my trash, im sure you would die to be the BIN!

Well, anyways. I should be blogging about what happened to this day.

I always hate the feeling of guilt. During our english class, my professor called me and asked me to read something. He also asked me to write my name, year level and course on a piece of paper that he gave. At first, i didn't quite understand what was that for? Well, dont blame me! i was busy concentrating on what to write about his presidentiables thing. So i asked him after class, what was really that for. it says "Write down the name of the student who showed leadership in your class." At first, i thought that it has something to do with me checking the attendance every meeting. But it was for something else. He said that its for a leadership thing, i was surpirsed though. And then Anne and Sue started teasing me and told him that i am really a student leader since high school. So, i asked him if it has something to do with the attendance thing, and he said 'No. not really. I just noticed that you possess that ability among your other classmates"... and i was like.... "Wow." haha. does that mean extra creadit for my grade. So now, i feel guilty. ahha. I feel guilty because i always talk trash about him on the internet whenever he gave so many assignments or projects. Talk about getting even! haha. Well, for one thing, I always pay attention in class, unlike ..... haha. ok. i wont mention any names. You know yourself! Now that's what i call a professor! haha. pota. Sipsip!

oh... yeah. after that, we went to Sm sta mesa and then returned to Katipunan with Mel and Mark. Anna and I gave them a tour all though it was raining. oh, that's because i have to get my laptop at anna's dorm and some of my stuff because i vacated my locker yesterday. =))

I think we almost spent an hour waiting for a trike! Argh! You know how i hate waiting. That's one of my issues, don't you think. For me patience is not a virtue. That's what i think atleast. =))

So maybe that's why I still dont have any boyfriends? haha. Waiting drives me crazy! So, mom, if you ever come across this page, you would be happy to find out im still single! haha. But who knows? Maybe next month or so, I'll be introducing you someone! haha. Kidding!

Tomorrow would be another adventure =))

monday holiday blues

its a monday and a holiday... GOOD or just bad?

Good: i get to rest for a day, atleast. No RMC meetings and practicce days are over. Last week was what i called 'THE HELL WEEK'. I didn't sleep for almost 4 days just to finish EVERYTHING! yes, everything. Reports, assignments and most of all, the essays our professor gave us. ugh. recalling all those things make me feel dizy.

BAD: we usualy dont have classes on mondays so, this one is wasted. ACK. Im not yet starting with my sociology report and Im having this stiff neck right now. Ouch.

Hell Week: First, we had this quiz in College Algebra. Then the 3 major essays which we have to finish in 2 days. Cruel right? But as they all say: 'That's college life'

I'm in the point right now where i want to give up. Yeah. I want to head back homw and lie on the beach all they and just ...RELAX.

But, i still have to finish a mini research, my training for RadioMC, concerts, clearance and final exams.

Gosh. I look fugly.

If only i could just sleep it all out. But it seems that even in my sleep those things are bothering me. You see, this thing on my head doesn't have its filter. Thoughts just came rushing in and the next thing you know, im going crazy! wierd huh?

Im trying to be strong as i could be.

the pain of defeat

*sigh. we came in 4thplace. damn it. all the efforts the efforts that we put through practicing our routine was ...well... wasted.

i wish i could say "look at the bright side! atleast we had fun!!"

NOT!

well, i did have fun, but i wish we could have been in 2nd place, atleast...

why world? why so cruel to section 16???

yeah, i admit not all us are good dancers, but we are all talented in our own little ways! hah! beat that!

LOUD.

cheering!

gosh. so tomorrow's the big day huh? I'm not a good dancer, but i can't say im an awful one either. Tomorrow, we have to present our routine which we worked hard on. All the pain and the tiredness are almost over. well, almost.

I am so tired. Hope we win the competition. =))

I believe we can do it!

sooner or later

still making this damn essay for Communication Skills. I hate my professor. Ack.

'this just might hurt a little'

First: oookkkaaayyy. so this past few days my body was really 'over used'. i feel exhausted and sooner or later i might faint from exhaustion!! so many things to do! so little time! Ack. kill me now... or make my english professor disappear for a month =))

should i say 'can i just rest in peace?'

Second: I want to sleep. I haven't slept in 3 consecutive nights! im so pathetic. Damn.

and third: i should be doing my essay and reviewing for a quiz in theology tomorrow!

make that 3 consecutives nights 4.

*see ya!! and wish me luck!

something is alienating my mind ...right now

oookkaay. am i that bored to start blogging? What was i think in starting one? haha.

Since I'm doing this 'thing' (Im not an internet geek btw, but you can check me out on facebook, twitter, friendster, imeem etc), i just want to let people know who would come across this page that i'm not doing this out of desperation. haha. It's just that, i feel like doing it. haha. Like what they say, online journal.

Anyways, since I am doing this thing right now, let me share you a little something that happened with me a while ago while i was on my way home, my little mishaps and clumsiness along the way:

-first while in National Bookstore and eating this straberry flavored ice cream while sitting with Sue and Anne in the Kids section of NBS, i spilled some droplets of melted ice cream on my skirt, well, it was dark green and didn't stain it. I just hate the fact that it left some wet marks right in front of my thing. I tried to wipe it off, only to find out that Anne was laughing 3 meters away. it turns out, the bag of my laptop, which was blocking my hip up to my lower torso. It looked like i was doing something on my 'thing' which was pretty hilarious when I did again.

-at Mcdo. i was buying myself a nice coke float so that i could have change for my fare on the way home. when i opened my wallet, there was enough change for me to go home. Bothered, i returned to the table where Anne and Sue were sitting and told them that. we're about to leave when this cute guy approached the counter. Anne said that i should buy the coke float in order to have a good look on the guy. And i did. I went behind him only to find out that the next counter was open. i was looking at this guy through the reflection above the signs thingy. i caught a glimpse though and thought he is cute. Too bad, I think we're a year older than him. After i got my Coke float, we decided to leave. i started to head towards the door when Sue yelled at me and said "G. your LAPTOP" haha. stupid little me. I almost forgot my laptop because i was checking this guy out! haha. how pathetic is that.

-i forgot to get my change in the jeepney on the way to Aurora Blvrd. Stupid conductor, didn't even gave my 3pesos back. curse him. next time i'll give exact payments

-I am broke. splurge on clothes last week at the mall. argh. i think i went a little overboard.

*oh why oh why???

-and now, i just found out that i left my College Algebra book in my locker at school...we have homework on that God forsaken subject... DANG IT. i so hate math. Numbers really hate me. Heck, why do we need to study these things anyway? We don't use in our daily life and it is so far fetched from my Course. PEOPLE. I am made for communicating. NOT counting.

*toodles! :*